Feb 22

He’s Just Too Into You: The Tell-tale Signs

When it comes to dating, it is every girl’s dream that this hot, funny and thoughtful guy she’s dating with will sweep her off her feet: You know, the dude who will come up with romantic surprises, call every now and then to check on her and above all, give his undivided time and attention. When you have experienced being ghosted by someone you were really into, this scene actually sounds like a jackpot.

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But what if it really is? Like, this new guy never fails to return your calls, is emotionally available for commitment, he likes you back—with no question at all and never ditches on any date because he is always available. Literally.

You might be so thrilled early on but you’d think if there’s no red flag lying somewhere, when it is something you always hoped for in your past relationships. So how will you know if he is way more into you and if he is really the guy you’ve been dreaming of? Or if that indescribable feeling in your stomach is a signal telling you to cut him off—fast?  Or if you can just give him a chance by toning him down gently?

1.       He bombards you with text messages

You waking up with “Good morning, beautiful” text will surely start your day right and give you extra energy to get up for work. A follow up text saying, “how’s your sleep?” Nah, it’s fine. He’s just trying to be sweet. Another follow up text, “Did you have breakfast? What did you have?” if this guy is bombarding you with consecutive messages without you even having the chance to reply just yet, you might want to consider pumping the breaks and tell him what he is not getting.

When it is you who gets the higher volume of messages between the two of you, he might not be getting the hint. So, whether you are busy at work or just simply don’t have the time to check your phone, you can be straightforward or upfront to him and it is absolutely fine. You can respond by saying, “I am busy today as it is working hours, I’ll end my shift by 5:00 pm and I think that’s the best time you can call or text me.” If this expectation set isn’t satisfactory for the issue, you can try having similar conversation with him in person. It’s important that you set the boundaries early on so you guys know what to expect and how you prefer things to be.

If you’ve tried it all and it becomes annoying for you, then you might want to re-evaluate your feelings for him now.

2.  Surprise! He shows up suddenly and wants to date you at that very moment

A guy making a surprise for you is romantic. But changing your plans to attend to his unannounced date for the rest of the day? Not so much. You see, before making a surprise, the guy should at least do his assignment and try to research your schedule then try to fit things in. Sudden appearance and taking a girl out can give an impression that he thinks you don’t have plans at all or you can easily cancel on the last minute for him. You can tell him that your schedule is well-planned and if he wants to go out, he can check with way more in advanced.

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3.       He drops the L-bomb even before the relationship went deeper

If he carelessly spit the vulnerable phrase of “I love you” (with an honest surprise look on your face because you never see it coming) and you know, for a fact that it’s too early in the relationship, then it might be overwhelming.

In this case, there is a big chance that you have not figured out if you’re ready for a commitment yet or even confirmed that you like him. If this is how you feel, you can be honest to him and tell him that you guys can enjoy each other’s company for the meantime and that there’s no pressure. But if you are on the same page with him, you can give him reassurance that you will reach into that point where your relationship would become more serious and for the long-haul.

When you get home, configure your feelings and think hard if you guys can reach to the point you just told him. If not, tell him the truth and give him a chance to find someone new who can give what he needs out of a relationship.

4.       He invites you to meet his family before the relationship went deeper

Without a doubt, introducing your significant other to family members is a serious milestone in the relationship. It signifies the solidity of your bondage and certainty that you guys see yourselves together for the rest of your lives. But if this new man wants to do this on the early stages of the relationship, it might be starting at a wrong foot. You see, in the early stages, you are still trying to discover each other and there’s a lot more to learn about. Most likely, you haven’t finalized the “what are we?” conversations and sexual exclusivity.

In cases like this, you just need to be upfront and honest to your man. You need to make a clear explanation and expectation that you are not ready to take on that next level. This way, he will not take it personally and understand where you are coming from. After all, open communication is a saving grace.

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